Untitled Story

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Untitled Story

Post by BPahl88 on Sat Apr 25, 2009 3:53 am

Just something I came up with. This is an intro or whatever. But I do have an idea of where this my go. This is untitled as of now, so yeah. I just jotted this down. Smile

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>


I was surrounded. Surrounded by creatures in large, heavy coats with fur all over them. Their faces were covered by the fluff of the brownish-grayish fur on their hoods. They were approaching me, chanting some nonsensical gibberish. Then the cold kicked in. I was shivering inside my thin windbreaker. No protection from the cold, mysterious figures in the fur-coated heavy coats walking toward me, and the chanting and yelling of a language unknown to me. What was this about? How did I get here? What are they doing? Where am I? Questions popped up in my head like the little moles from the Whack-A-Mole games I played when I was six years old. Now memories of my young life were filling my head. Go-Karts, baseball, my first pictures I drew, and then my parents. Where were they? I screamed in terror. How can I get myself out of this unknown mess? Will it be the end of me? Then, I woke up.


Last edited by BPahl88 on Sat Apr 25, 2009 6:49 pm; edited 1 time in total
avatar
BPahl88
Dang, this user has a lot of posts....
Dang, this user has a lot of posts....

Male
Number of posts : 3342
Age : 21
Points :
100 / 100100 / 100

Points 2.0 : 2196
Registration date : 2008-05-19

View user profile http://writersclubforum.lightbb.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: Untitled Story

Post by 2bAgen. on Sat Apr 25, 2009 5:06 pm

Ahh. Good. I think you meant drew not grew in the part about the pictures.

_________________
The Brain Digester
Kirby Kirby is MINE! Not 017350's. Or BPahl88's. MINE! Kirby
avatar
2bAgen.
Prodigy Writer

Female
Number of posts : 2877
Age : 20
Points :
12 / 10012 / 100

Points 2.0 : 1423
Registration date : 2008-06-01

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Untitled Story

Post by xStarr_x3 on Sat Apr 25, 2009 5:21 pm

xDD I hope he did.
'Therwise, he could have meant the pictures that parents take each year..

_________________
Holleh likes taking evil slumbers. (and stealing candy from babies.)
She's PREGNANT. With a cow. How..?!
Holleh speaks to herself. In dreams.
HOLLEHS: Now come tree-size!
Holleh talks hotter than the sun. ;o
Holleh is an IN-SPURR-AY-SHUN. Believe it.
She thinks an artichoke is a type of fish.
She also gives lap-dances. To beds.
Holleh can van like a man.
avatar
xStarr_x3
Elite, Supreme, Whiz, Prodigy, Super-Duper World-Class Writer

Female
Number of posts : 7005
Age : 22
Points :
35 / 10035 / 100

Points 2.0 : 5901
Registration date : 2008-05-22

View user profile http://www.freewebs.com/awhisperinthedark

Back to top Go down

Re: Untitled Story

Post by BPahl88 on Sat Apr 25, 2009 6:49 pm

Whoops. Yeah. XD
avatar
BPahl88
Dang, this user has a lot of posts....
Dang, this user has a lot of posts....

Male
Number of posts : 3342
Age : 21
Points :
100 / 100100 / 100

Points 2.0 : 2196
Registration date : 2008-05-19

View user profile http://writersclubforum.lightbb.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: Untitled Story

Post by 2bAgen. on Sat Apr 25, 2009 7:59 pm

Or like the pictures actually grew, like plants. Well, that's what I thought anyway...

_________________
The Brain Digester
Kirby Kirby is MINE! Not 017350's. Or BPahl88's. MINE! Kirby
avatar
2bAgen.
Prodigy Writer

Female
Number of posts : 2877
Age : 20
Points :
12 / 10012 / 100

Points 2.0 : 1423
Registration date : 2008-06-01

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Untitled Story

Post by BPahl88 on Sun Apr 26, 2009 1:33 am

Lol. Happy
avatar
BPahl88
Dang, this user has a lot of posts....
Dang, this user has a lot of posts....

Male
Number of posts : 3342
Age : 21
Points :
100 / 100100 / 100

Points 2.0 : 2196
Registration date : 2008-05-19

View user profile http://writersclubforum.lightbb.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: Untitled Story

Post by Lizzluff on Wed Apr 29, 2009 8:12 pm

Ooh, scareh o:
Nice intro (:
avatar
Lizzluff
Writing Star

Number of posts : 339
Points :
0 / 1000 / 100

Points 2.0 : 343
Registration date : 2009-04-18

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Untitled Story

Post by Sirch Hanom on Thu May 28, 2009 3:32 am

A few things and strudel...
1. Ya don't need to make ev'ry story 'bout YOU. Half the fun o' writin' is makin' up characters and livin' THROUGH them. You can make characters do what you cannot, do things you wouldn't, and so on. Plus, it brings a sense of a story to the reader, not just someone's fantasies about themselves. We know people, we're bored with them. We want characters.
2. Stay away from hackneyed shibaggen like the questions "Who am I?" "How did I get here", etc. It's a blatant, easy way for an author to introduce the background without much work. It can make someone think YOU don't know where this person is from, who they are, etc. They're supposed to know who they are, and the reader is someone looking in from a window at what the character is doing. Amnesia is a cheap way to suddenly make a character without showing what kind of person they are through their actions.
3. Set the scene. Where the funbag is this person?
4. I love Calvin and Hobbes.
avatar
Sirch Hanom
Learned Writer

Male
Number of posts : 44
Points :
0 / 1000 / 100

Points 2.0 : 54
Registration date : 2009-05-28

View user profile http://assassinsforcheap.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Untitled Story

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum