Calvin and the Ghost

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Calvin and the Ghost

Post by BPahl88 on Wed Oct 15, 2008 3:05 am

Okay. I had to write (type) this story for a contest. It's a short story for halloween, but I might add on to it. Just for kicks, ya know. So... tell me what you think.

P.S. Unfortunatly, I will probally not be on here for a while again. Why you ask? Well, let's just put it as that I haven't been getting the best grades. Shall I say... a 'C'? Yes. I 'C'. And maybe another bad grade in band. *Sighs* It is my worst report card grade ever. A 77. In Language Arts. But this REALLY bad quarter is buttering me up for the best quarter of my (young) life. So expect me to be on here at random times on my family computer or something. Expect me to get straight 'A's on my progress report in... oh... 4 1/2 weeks. That's when I hope I'll get my laptop back. So just to inform you on that. And on with the story.

P.P.S I'll have to post the entire story I have right now, because of the reason above. Very Happy

P.P.P.S Hope you enjoy it!!!


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Calvin and the Ghost

It was dark and cold. The blizzard was fierce and severe. It had seemed as if a lonely house is lost in this storm. And the lonely house contained a small child. He was upstairs in his room curled inside a million blankets and a single stuffed elephant. He lay there motionless as the ferocious winds pounced the bedroom window. The stuffed elephant is being held very tightly by the little boy. He closed his eyes for a moment. Then the boy wiggled out of his bed, and headed downstairs to his mother. Yes, the comfort of his mother to relax him and comfort him.
He went down the creaky steps one by one. His stuffed elephant was in one hand being dragged by the childís hand. He finally got to the bottom and turned around to the living room where his mother was watching a fire in the fireplace. The child, followed by his stuffed elephant, trotted across the room to his mother. She saw him and picked him up and sat him and his elephant down on her warm lap.
However, this child is just no ordinary child, oh no, this child is a child prodigy. He has a very brilliant mind and is eager to know more. He also has psychic abilities, being able to interact with the paranormal. However, his eagerness and this psychic ability are not a good combination. Certainly not. He can go too far off the edge of curiosity, however, doesnít realize he is. But ever so, this small child is a prodigy, and that is that. His name is Calvin.
After feeling comfortable, Calvin went back upstairs to his room. He got all settled in to go to sleep. His elephant was lying loosely in his arms. He closed his eyes. All was quiet and peaceful. And then, Calvin felt a touch on his arm.
Calvin shot his eyes and lay there like a statue. He was as quiet as possible. And he felt another touch. His mouth was beginning to widen in shock. But after awhile, it stopped, and nothing started to happen again. So Calvin began to close his eyes again, even though he was scared to. After he had closed his eyes and seemed to have choked his stuffed elephant half-to-death by squishing it so tightly, another thing happened. The music box began to play.
Even though Calvin was shocked, he turned to see the music box. And there was a ghost, a big, evil, gray ghost. And then, Calvin made history. He had done something that no one has ever done before. He disappeared into thin air. He left no trace of him nor his elephant. There was nothing there in that spot he was just in. He had teleported.
Calvin was now in another planet. It was a dark planet. Very dark. He could see, but it was still dark. He looked around and there was nothing there. He walked around for something, a trace of anything. And he saw something in the distance. It was racing toward him and Calvin was staring at it. The thing suddenly stopped in front of Calvin, and Calvin just flinched. But as soon as he recognized it, he screamed and ran for his life. It was the ghost.
As little as he was, he got nowhere until the ghost caught him. The ghost had pulled Calvin by his waist and lifted him up very quickly. Calvin was frightened. He was panicking. The ghost then throws the child down to the ground, or it seemed like. Calvin was now floating in thin air. His eyes were glowing a reddish color. He was in a deep state. But that did not stop the gray ghost. He charged at the prodigy. But no use. The boy stopped him by sticking out his hand and a powerful gust came from his hand. And now it was clear. It was war.
The child faced the ghost. The ghost faced the child. Then Calvin noticed what appeared to be an ocean. It was dark, but he could tell it was. He concentrated at the ocean and raised his arms toward the ocean. The water raised and Calvin snapped his arms toward the ghost. The water then flew right toward the ghost and hit him directly. It covered him for a few seconds, but then Calvin saw what happened. There was no affect. The ghost laughs hysterically with an evil tone to it. It sounded like a demented robot laugh.
The ghost now took his turn for attack and lifted some of the earth up into the air. He hovered it over Calvin then dropped it. But Calvin fortunately stopped it using these random powers he suddenly has now.
Now, Calvinís eyes were blood red and thirsty to finish off this fight. He absorbed ultra-violent rays as quickly as possible while dodging attacks from the ghost. Then, Calvin let out all of those UV rays at once. That was to distract the gray ghost. Calvin flashed confusion waves to confuse the ghost. It worked. And to finish it off, he sent psychic flash waves to the ghost. And the ghost fell to the ground.
Calvinís eyes changed back from red to blue. He calmed down. Then, he teleported somehow back to the small town to tell about his adventure. And letís just say that the six-year-old prodigy child is thankful it wasnít a space alien.

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Okay. Hope you enjoyed it. See ya'll later. Very Happy
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Re: Calvin and the Ghost

Post by RitsukaofLoveless on Wed Oct 15, 2008 10:44 am

Wow that was really cool. coulda been spaced out, but cool.
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Re: Calvin and the Ghost

Post by Sirch Hanom on Sat May 30, 2009 6:31 am

It was dark and cold. The blizzard was fierce and severe- Redundancy.
It had seemed as if a lonely house is lost in this storm -seemed-wrong tense
However, this child is just no ordinary child, oh no, this child is a child prodigy. He has a very brilliant mind and is eager to know more. He also has psychic abilities, being able to interact with the paranormal - Just bam, you tell the reader. Show that he is a prodigy throughout the story, give examples, flashbacks.
The narrator-voice is bein' a little abused here: The story is supposed to show that Calvin is a prodigy, ya don't just say it. The present tense throughout the whole thing was a strange way to write it, also.
What does Calvin look like? Or his mother? Or the ghost? Or the house? Why is there suddenly a ghost that wants to kill him? There seems to be a lot of random stuff happening.
He...teleported to another...planet? Why another...planet? I don't see the point of going to another planet, or how that figures in with his abilities of seeing ghosts and telekinesis. How does the ghost get to another planet, and why is he able to lift a strip of earth?
Instead of fighting a...ghost on another planet, why not say he imagined fighting the ghost, in his mind? The 'waves of confusion' thing was strange, too. How did he confuse it? He just thought 'confuse'?
There's a lot of stuff happening, and not enough explanation.
THis story just doesn't make that much sense.


Last edited by Sirch Hanom on Sat May 30, 2009 6:33 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Change of phrasing.)
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