Threefold

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Threefold

Post by BlackOpal on Wed Jul 09, 2008 2:03 am

This is just a little poem about the threefold Goddess.
I've been reading too much. She pops up everywhere! From Tamora Pierce to Athurian myth, I just can't get away.
So I wrote a short, simple poem.
It's kind of awkward, so wording suggestions would be loved.

_____________________________

Threefold

Jump, be swift, over the Beltane fire
Lovers meet and sons are sired
Maiden lives with her eyes half-closed
She dances, free until the rooster crows

Baby cries with its first breath of air
Milk is given, stories are shared
Mother lives while her terror grows
Raise a child to be glad and whole

Wisdom comes, but much too late
Love has made your children great
Crone lives with a burden to bear
Death comes when you no longer care

_________________


I'll review if you review me. Very Happy
PM me if you'd like crit.
avatar
BlackOpal
Writing Whiz

Female
Number of posts : 156
Points :
5 / 1005 / 100

Points 2.0 : 0
Registration date : 2008-03-18

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Threefold

Post by Hazel on Wed Jul 09, 2008 2:05 am

Whoa this was amazing! I don't really know who the threefold Goddess is but that was still a super good poem! Very Happy

_________________
Message written with 100 percent more love and care than the leading brand!



Hazel, the pizza eating, hand walking, inconspicuous ninja, who secretly enjoys eating ice cream while singing at the top of her lungs and dancing around like a maniac, has mega cool superpowers in which she will one day save the world that always seems to be in peril. That is her purpose in life.
avatar
Hazel
Moderator

Female
Number of posts : 11563
Age : 105
Points :
63 / 10063 / 100

Points 2.0 : 10202
Registration date : 2008-04-10

View user profile http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/619558

Back to top Go down

Re: Threefold

Post by BlackOpal on Wed Jul 09, 2008 5:47 pm

Here's some links. Very Happy
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triple_Goddess
http://www.paganlibrary.com/reference/threefold_goddess.php
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beltane

Basically the Goddess is represented in three forms, the Maiden, the Mother and the Death Crone (or wise woman).
In old Arthurian myth the goddess was the consort of the horned one, their God.
The goddess was revered above all.
Anyways, the Great Mother Goddess keeps popping up, so I had to write something about her.

_________________


I'll review if you review me. Very Happy
PM me if you'd like crit.
avatar
BlackOpal
Writing Whiz

Female
Number of posts : 156
Points :
5 / 1005 / 100

Points 2.0 : 0
Registration date : 2008-03-18

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Threefold

Post by carino on Fri Jul 11, 2008 2:52 am

Well...I'm not finding problems with it.
It's so interesting!
I love the last line.

I'm sorry, I'm being completely unhelpful. But...honestly. It's good! What can I say?
avatar
carino
Learned Writer

Female
Number of posts : 56
Age : 24
Points :
0 / 1000 / 100

Points 2.0 : 0
Registration date : 2008-05-22

View user profile http://www.carinosblog.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Threefold

Post by BPahl88 on Sun Jul 27, 2008 5:12 am

Awesome poem! I don't know who it is as well, and I'm to lazy to go to wikipedia and find out. (Sorry. Embarassed) But yeah, I agree with carino and hazel, it was great! Very Happy
avatar
BPahl88
Dang, this user has a lot of posts....
Dang, this user has a lot of posts....

Male
Number of posts : 3342
Age : 21
Points :
100 / 100100 / 100

Points 2.0 : 2196
Registration date : 2008-05-19

View user profile http://writersclubforum.lightbb.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: Threefold

Post by Moonlite Knight on Sun Jul 27, 2008 5:14 am

I agree with everyone, it's really good! I really like the last stanza!

_________________

)
..*) .*)
(.`~ Join the Kingdom of Darkness, or this shall be your fate.~)
..*) .*)
(.`
avatar
Moonlite Knight
Prodigy Writer

Female
Number of posts : 2031
Age : 27
Points :
20 / 10020 / 100

Points 2.0 : 469
Registration date : 2008-03-23

View user profile http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1221019/Moonlite_Knight

Back to top Go down

Re: Threefold

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum