Sunset

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Sunset

Post by BPahl88 on Thu Jul 03, 2008 2:11 am

With all kinds of colors
From orange to yellow and red
With a sight so spectacular
It is one not to dread.

Sitting on the horizon
As beautiful as can be.
Oh how a sunset is great
A magnificent thing to see.

As it gets lower
I don’t like it at all.
I shout and cry, “Don’t go quite yet!”
I have loved what I have just saw.

But in my mind I knew it must go.
Even though I like this so much.
With the heavenly sight I love to watch
I seem to want to touch.

But now it’s gone away from my thoughts.
I try to let down the sorrow.
And now as I sit in the dark
I can’t wait until tomorrow.

Please critic. Very Happy
avatar
BPahl88
Dang, this user has a lot of posts....
Dang, this user has a lot of posts....

Male
Number of posts : 3342
Age : 21
Points :
100 / 100100 / 100

Points 2.0 : 2196
Registration date : 2008-05-19

View user profile http://writersclubforum.lightbb.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: Sunset

Post by Hazel on Thu Jul 03, 2008 2:35 am

Yes very true! I loved the last stanza the best! Very Happy

_________________
Message written with 100 percent more love and care than the leading brand!



Hazel, the pizza eating, hand walking, inconspicuous ninja, who secretly enjoys eating ice cream while singing at the top of her lungs and dancing around like a maniac, has mega cool superpowers in which she will one day save the world that always seems to be in peril. That is her purpose in life.
avatar
Hazel
Moderator

Female
Number of posts : 11563
Age : 106
Points :
63 / 10063 / 100

Points 2.0 : 10202
Registration date : 2008-04-10

View user profile http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/619558

Back to top Go down

Re: Sunset

Post by Moonlite Squire on Thu Jul 03, 2008 2:36 am

this is a really nice poem BPahl88. Very Happy
avatar
Moonlite Squire
Learned Writer

Female
Number of posts : 72
Age : 22
Points :
5 / 1005 / 100

Points 2.0 : 11
Registration date : 2008-04-20

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Sunset

Post by Moonlite Knight on Thu Jul 03, 2008 2:47 am

Awesome poem! I loved the last part the most Very Happy

_________________

¤´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·`¤~ Join the Kingdom of Darkness, or this shall be your fate.~¤´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·`¤
avatar
Moonlite Knight
Prodigy Writer

Female
Number of posts : 2031
Age : 27
Points :
20 / 10020 / 100

Points 2.0 : 469
Registration date : 2008-03-23

View user profile http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1221019/Moonlite_Knight

Back to top Go down

Re: Sunset

Post by BPahl88 on Thu Jul 03, 2008 2:56 am

Thanx guys. And I just noticed that I posted the poem on 9:11. Something like this always happend to me. It's wierd.
avatar
BPahl88
Dang, this user has a lot of posts....
Dang, this user has a lot of posts....

Male
Number of posts : 3342
Age : 21
Points :
100 / 100100 / 100

Points 2.0 : 2196
Registration date : 2008-05-19

View user profile http://writersclubforum.lightbb.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: Sunset

Post by sweetkiss on Thu Jul 03, 2008 3:18 pm

AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!
Loved it BP
avatar
sweetkiss
Writing Whiz

Female
Number of posts : 214
Age : 24
Points :
5 / 1005 / 100

Points 2.0 : 0
Registration date : 2008-04-11

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Sunset

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum