Needed

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Needed

Post by Broken Heart on Mon Jun 30, 2008 11:16 pm

Please tell me what you think!!

Amber's Bad Day
Amber walked into her dorm room; grabbed her iPod, blasted her music and grabbed her diary, which was conveniently under her pillow from the night before.
Amber’s diary: Bad Day,
Today was horrendous!! This morning my car wouldn’t start; its raining outside, and I forgot to roll the windows up; I was late for class; and I forgot all about my History project that’s due in 5 hours! I’m not having the best of luck today.
________________________________________________________________________
Closing her diary, Amber got back up and walked to her desk to start working on her project that was handed to her 3 weeks prior. Her laptop was in the middle of the desk, charging. She opened it to see a letter on the keyboard. Amber was curious, the only person who would do something like this was her boyfriend Andrew; but he was out of town. She unfolded the letter, cautiously. It read:

Meet me outside at 12:30 am by the pool. You are needed.

Amber was terrified; she didn’t know what to do. If she was needed then she should go. But she didn’t know who the letter was from; or what she was needed for. “50 years from now, my life could be changed from this one night. Don’t I want to have the courage to say that I went to the pool?” She thought; then she decided she would find out who this letter was from, and why she was needed.


Last edited by Broken Heart on Sun Oct 12, 2008 5:08 pm; edited 3 times in total

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Re: Needed

Post by Hazel on Tue Jul 01, 2008 2:48 am

This sounds really interesting. Very Happy

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Re: Needed

Post by Moonlite Knight on Tue Jul 01, 2008 3:08 am

Yeah it does. Only, I think you should add a little more detail. Maybe add more about how she's feeling and such. It's pretty good though Very Happy

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Re: Needed

Post by carino on Tue Jul 01, 2008 3:39 am

Not bad.
I'd suggest making he diary be written in a different font/in italics just to set it apart a bit more. I want to see where this is going. One thing, though...
Broken Heart wrote:“50 years from now, my life could be changed from this one night. It could be changed in more ways than one.”
Foreshadowing like this is sort of...too obvious for my likes.
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Re: Needed

Post by BPahl88 on Tue Jul 01, 2008 3:55 am

Neat. Will you keep going? Because if so, this should be in fiction. But still, nice begining.
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Re: Needed

Post by sweetkiss on Tue Jul 01, 2008 5:13 pm

I like it (only because it was my idea jkjk)
But its good, I agree with Carino, there is too much foreshadowing.
All in all its good.
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Re: Needed

Post by Broken Heart on Tue Jul 01, 2008 9:25 pm

12:30 am
Amber walked outside by the pool, running on adrenalin and a ‘Full Throttle’ she chugged before she came. She was afraid that someone was going to kill her; kidnap her; or rob her. But she was curious for some reason. Something in the back of her mind was telling her it was her destiny to come.
Amber was standing at the pool for over 20 minutes. Then someone came out of the shadows. It was a muscular man; tall, he looked to be about 6 feet. Amber knew she was dead for sure. Until he spoke “I’m sorry it took me so long to come and talk to you, I had to make sure you were alone.” The man said in a bass voice.
“I’m alone, take my word on it” she said in a shaky voice
“We’ve been watching you for the last 5 months,” said the man “and we need you to help us”
Amber looked in the man’s eyes “What do you need me for? I’m nothing special.”
“We have noticed that you have special talents that you don’t know about, and we are here to train you”
“Train me in what?”
“That’s classified and will be explained later” said the man “If you decide to join us”
Amber pondered over the thought of helping this person she just met, then looked into the mans eyes and replied “I’ll join” The next thing Amber saw was the pool disappearing and then a cloud of smoke appearing all around her and the man. The man took hold of Amber then everything went black.

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Re: Needed

Post by VampireYuuki on Tue Jul 01, 2008 11:23 pm

Wowweeee!! Cool, I hope to read the rest when you post it
!! You've captured my attention!!
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Re: Needed

Post by sweetkiss on Wed Jul 02, 2008 5:44 pm

Wow!!
I love it Ash!
I really want to read more now!!
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Re: Needed

Post by Broken Heart on Tue Jul 08, 2008 8:12 pm

3 hours later

Amber woke up in a small military type cot; the room she wasn’t very big. It had no window, no paint, and only one light. But it was barley a light; only a candle. There was a desk on the adjacent wall; Amber got up and went to the desk, there was a note on it addressed to her. She opened it and a key fell out along with something that looked like a credit card. She pulled out the note:
Amber,
This is the place where you are going to be staying. It’s your room and yours only. The card that came with this letter is the key to the desk. You will notice that there is a small slot for it at the top of the first drawer. The drawer is filled with things that you will need for the time you stay here, the cloths you need to change into immediately.
Once you have changed, the key is for the door. Walk out of the door whenever you’re ready. Someone will be waiting for you. And this person, you know.
________________________________________________________________________
Amber opened the drawer, and inspected the content. Changed her cloths and walked up to the door. “I must be an idiot for coming here. But if I’m needed” Amber thought, then opened the door. Outside the door was a man sitting on a wooden stool. She recognized the man right away, “Andrew!” she screamed and ran to his side.
”Amber! I’m so happy you decided to join!” he said wrapping his arms around his girlfriend.
"Amber returning the hug whispered into his ear “I’m scared, I have no idea what I got myself into” “Everything will be ok,” he comforted “Just trust me” “I do trust you; but I don’t know if I trust the people here.” “You will learn to trust us” Andrew said ending the hug “Now if you will come with me, we are late” “Late for what?” “Our training”

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Re: Needed

Post by Broken Heart on Sat Jul 12, 2008 2:56 pm

Training

“Good morning,” said a man standing in the front of a large room that Andrew brought Amber, “For those of you who don’t know me; I’m Grandmaster Tom Cameron you may know me as the man with the death touch”
Amber didn’t know what to do. She heard about this guy, he used forces from the earth to knock people out, she saw it on You Tube, “Andrew, this is the guy training us?” she whispered.
“Yes, he will teach you all you need to know; before your mission”
“My mission? That wasn’t in the job description”
“That’s what you are needed for,” Andrew looked into Ambers eyes “You are needed to help us save people”
“Now, today is special” Grandmaster said, “We have a new person with us” he pointed at Amber and motioned for her to come up to where he was standing “This is Amber, she joined us today and she will be helping us with the Nations Mission”
Amber looked at Andrew; she really didn’t want to go up to the front, but she had to “Hello everyone” she said in a low voice
“Amber, will you tell us why you joined?” Grandmaster asked
“Well-” she was hesitant, she didn’t really know why she joined, “I joined because I wanted my life to be an adventure,” she explained “I don’t want to just sit at home all the time and wonder what to do with my life! Coming here is a brand new start”
“Very good answer Amber,” said Grandmaster “You may return to your post”
Amber walked back to Andrew, who was staring at her, “Did I say something wrong?” she questioned
Andrew was silent for a while, and then he replied “Just you saying that your life was boring”
“I never said that”
“That’s what you were implying”
“No I wasn’t,” she yelled back “Let’s talk about this later, where there is more privacy” she said as her voice lowered to a whisper.
The Grandmaster interrupted there conversation, “If you two need a moment to talk you may step outside”
“We’re fine” the two answered.
“Good now I can get back to the class”

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Re: Needed

Post by Broken Heart on Tue Jul 15, 2008 7:37 pm

Amber’s Gifts
The Grandmaster told the class what was going to happen, what the class was going to teach you, and how the class will use there gift. That was all that they covered, no one was going to be using there gift today. After class Grandmaster asked for Amber to stay after so he could tell her more about her mission, “Amber do you know what your gift is?”
“Sir, the only gift that I have is playing the violin” Amber replied
“That is one kind of gift; but that’s not what I’m talking about” Grandmaster led Amber to a couch “You have a power only a select few can obtain, I’m here to show you what the power is”
“A power; am I like magical?”
“Some people call it magic, others call you a freak, but it’s a very special thing” the Grandmaster took hold of Amber’s hand then closed his eyes then opened them again “Do you want to know your gift?”
Amber was curious, she was magical! This was overwhelming to her, but she wanted to know “Yes, please tell me”
“You have several powers, that uncommon,” he explained “you can teleport, which is very handy in some situations; you can throw fire, which will help you in a battle; you have the gift of tongues, that’s very helpful; lastly you have the power of preminitions”
Amber was shocked, who knew she had so much power, “This is a lot to take in all at once”
“I know it can be confusing at first, but with the right training you can become something great”
“Thank you Grandmaster,” Amber looked at her feet, which were in military combat boots “is there anything else I need to know about?”
“Yes, there is another group like ours,” Amber looked back at the Grandmaster “You could say they are our counter part”
“So it’s like good and evil?” Amber asked
“Exactly, they are called The Malvagio”
“And we are called?”
“We are The Buono”
“Isn’t that just Italian for Good and Evil?”
The Grandmaster was surprised, no one knew that was Italian “How did you know that?”
“Remember I have the gift of tongues”


Last edited by Broken Heart on Wed Jul 16, 2008 8:55 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Needed

Post by Artemis F. on Tue Jul 15, 2008 9:18 pm

Interesting. I advise you keep writing.
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Re: Needed

Post by Broken Heart on Tue Jul 15, 2008 10:08 pm

This next chapter is really short, only because the following one is going to be long..

Learning how to use magic
Amber walked to the door of her room, still in a daze from all this new information she just received. She unlocked the door and to her surprise Andrew was sitting on her bed “Hello” she said in a hushed tone
“I want to talk to you” Andrew said
“About what” she said sternly
“About what you said”
“I honestly don’t want to talk about that right now, I would like to rest”
“Alright”
“But before you leave what is your power?”
“I thought you would ask me that” Andrew said “I can throw electricity, a useful tool in a battle”
“That’s cool” she said as Andrew walked out the door
“I love you Amber” he whispered
Amber closed the door before he said the words every girl dreams of hearing from their boyfriend. Amber laid down on the bed, thinking about everything that had happened that day. “Wow- Me- Having magic- Who would've known“ she thought before she fell asleep.

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Re: Needed

Post by GoMulchGo on Thu Jul 17, 2008 2:48 am

Hmm, interesting story. There are quite a few grammar and spelling mistakes. You might want to read over your work before you submit next time.
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Re: Needed

Post by Broken Heart on Thu Jul 17, 2008 3:55 pm

Really? Where? I read it over and so did my friend Kelsey..
If there are some mistakes show me where cause I obviously missed them.. Which is weird >.<

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Re: Needed

Post by Broken Heart on Sat Jul 19, 2008 9:53 pm

Amber’s Dream

Amber was in a big warehouse type building, with only one door. Her mother was sitting on a chair with someone circling her; Amber ran up to her mother’s side “Mom!” she yelled “Mom can you hear me?” No answer, as she stood next to her mother she noticed her hands were tied to the back of the chair, then Amber realized what was going on. The person circling her was trying to hurt her. “Mom get up! If you can hear me get up!!” no response. The man circling her spoke.
“Is your daughter Amber Wrightman?” he asked
“Why do you want to know who my daughter is” Amber’s mother asked
“Come on, you don’t want dis to end badly for you, just answer the question” he said
“I will never tell you who my daughter is” her mother yelled back
“Alright, we’ll do dis the hard way” the man struck her mother hard on the face “Now will you answer the question?” he asked shaking his fist to relive the pain.
“No!” Amber yelled trying to get the man to stop
Amber’s mother licked the blood from her bottom lip “You could hit me as many times as you want, I’ll never tell you who my daughter is”
The man rolled his eyes “Come on, I don’t want to do dis, you’re a lady” he said “But you leave me no choice” he pulled his fist back
“Don’t touch her!!” Amber yelled jumping at the man, but it was no use, her body just traveled through the man. She sat on the floor watching as her mother got hit in the face over and over again.
Amber’s mom gritted her teeth to try and hid the pain she was in “Do you-“ her mother gasped “Do you think that hitting me is the best way to get something out of me?”
“I was just going to kill yas, but my buddy Jim told me not to” he laughed
“Why do you need to know who my daughter is any way?” she asked
“Because, she is apart of a group called The Buono.” He explained “It’s for these freaks that have ‘gifts’”
“So what’s so important about that?”
“Well since I’m probably going to kill you once I’m done with yas, I guess I could tell you” he laughed “I’m apart of the groups counter part-“ Amber sat in silence listening and watching her mother be beaten “The Malvagio, and she is the most powerful one in the group, if we kill her then I’ll be able to take over the group and the world will turn away from good and I’ll become ruler of evil; which will consume everything.”
Amber sat in disbelief, for one thing she is the most powerful, the other part her mother was being beaten by someone who could kill her with magic and she couldn’t do anything about it “Mom don’t listen to him, I’ll fix everything” Amber said standing up to go over where her mother was sitting.
“Now if you will make my job easier, just tell me who your daughter is!” he said hitting Ambers mother in the eye causing the chair to fall backward, and her mother’s head smacking on solid floor.
Amber’s mom gasped in pain, she had been beaten and she had been tortured “I will never tell you anything about my family”
“Fine be that way” the man reached behind him and pulled out a gun from the back elastic of his pants, he loaded it and pointed it at her head “You know should’ve obeyed me!” the gun fired
“No!” Amber cried. She jumped at the man, nothing happened, she was overwhelmed by what just happened, her mother got shot while she was standing right next to her, she ran over to her mothers body “Mom, how could I have let this happen? I should have been able to stop this”
“Amber” her mother gasped “I love-“ silence.
“No!” Amber yelled as she placed her had on her mother head “ I will fix this mom, I’ll figure out a way to bring you back” she said kissing her moms head, she stood up and ran out of the room.


Amber woke, sweating and crying “Mom!” she yelled “Mom I need my mom!”
Andrew ran into the room and rapped his arms around her “Amber, it was a dream, everything is ok” he comforted
“I need to call my mom” she yelled
“Amber what happened?”
“I had a dream, preminition thing”
“Are you sure?” he questioned
“Yes I know it was one, I need to call my mom!” she snapped
“Alright, here’s my cell”
She dialed the number “Hello, whose this?” her mother voice said
“Thank god! It’s Amber”
“Hello darling, are you ok? You sound like something’s wrong” he mother said concerned
“Yes, everything is ok, I’ll explain later” Amber said “I’m coming over”
“Now? Amber is 3 in the morning”
“Yes I’m coming over now!” she yelled
“Ok, but calm down, where are you; I’ll meet you half way”
“No mom I’m coming to the house”
“Alright, I’ll put on some coffee”
“Thank you, bye” Amber paused, relived to hear her mothers voice “I love you so much!” Amber said then turned to Andrew “Can you get someone to teleport me there?” she asked
“Don’t you have that power?” he questioned
“Yes, but I don’t know how to use it”
“All you have to do, is concentrate on the place you want to go,” he explained “the exact place”
“That’s it?”
“Yes”
Amber closed her eyes, squeezing them as tight as she could, then she disappeared. She opened her eyes, and noticed she was in a familiar place “I’m home” she smiled

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Re: Needed

Post by Broken Heart on Sun Aug 03, 2008 2:12 pm

Alright, I've typed a lot since I posted last.. So here is 3 mini chapters.. Hope you like them

Mother’s house
Amber was standing in the living room of her mother’s house, she walked into the kitchen where her mother was sitting, “Mom!” she yelled, running to her mother’s side to give her a hug.
“Amber” her mother said in a surprised voice “How did you get here so fast?”
“I teleported” whispered Amber
“So you found out about your powers?” she questioned
“How did you know about that?”
“Honey-“ her mother took her daughters hands “I know all about them, all 4 of them”
Amber was shocked “Do you have them too?” she asked
“No, but your father did” her mother explained
“My father?” Amber sighed; she didn’t even remember him, let alone know he had powers like her.
“Yes, you probably don’t remember him; he died when you were 5 months”
“God rest his soul” Amber sighed, but once she said the words she got a shock wave of pain that made her stumble to the floor “Mom, tell me what happened to my father” Amber gasped.
Her mother was in shock, she didn’t think her daughters powers were strong enough to tell that there was something she had to know about her father, “Amber, I don’t know if I should tell you”
“Mother-“ Amber said grasping her mothers hands “I need to know”
“It was 23 years ago, May 9th, 1985, you just turned 4 months. Your father just came home from ‘work’, he was acting really strange, and I didn’t know what was wrong with him.” Amber’s mom stared at the wall behind Amber where a picture of her father hung, “When we were about to go to bed there was a knock on the door. Your father being the brave one went to answer it; the man behind the door was his mentor Tom-“
“Wait, what was his last name?”
“I’m not sure,” Amber’s mom closed her eyes and concentrated on the past “I think it was Cameron, but I’m not positive, why do you ask?”
Amber’s heart skipped a beat, “Continue with the story” she said boldly
“He told your father” Amber’s mom paused “I’ll never forget his words ‘We need you to leave now for the Nations Mission, its time to say good bye’” Amber went pale, “Are you feeling ok?”
“Tom Cameron is the person training me,” Ambers mouth went dry, and her eyes lost there sparkle “And I’m in the Nations Mission”
Amber’s mother nearly fainted, her olive skin went pale as well “I want you to leave that mission as soon as possible, I don’t want you to end up like your father. Please Amber for your safety”
Amber realized that she didn’t come there to find out about her father but to make sure her mother was alright “Mother that will be my decision; I need to know if you are ok”
“I’m alright, why do you ask?”
“Just remember mom, if you need me think my name, I’ll always be listening” Amber hugged her mother, then teleported away
“Amber you never told me what was wrong with-“ she stopped it was unnecessary to ask a cloud of shimmering blue sparks a question.

Thinking
Amber teleported to Stone Mountain in Atlanta, Georgia; she needed to think. “I can’t think of anything to do about my father! He’s my dad, but he also died when I was only 4 months.” Out of the corner of her eye she saw a shimmering cloud appear, it was Joanna, one of Andrews friends, “Hello” Amber whispered.
“Andrew is worried about you; you should come home” said Joanna sitting down next to Amber.
“I can’t, that’s not my home; my home is in Florida” Amber sighed
“It’s your home now, and everyone thinks of you as a family member.”
“I don’t care right now, I just need to think”
“Alright, I’ll give you time to think, but if you need any help whatsoever just call out my name or Grandmaster and we will be here to help you”
Amber nodded her head, and then turned away from Joanna; Joanna teleported away, “I can’t take this, I really don’t want my life to be centered on fighting magical things” then Amber heard a voice coming from behind her.
“I’ve been waiting for you to be alone” said the voice
“Who are you” Amber yelled, jumping up, her arm suddenly engulfed in flames, “Wow” she whispered
“I see you can throw fire, a useful tool” said the man “But do you know how to use it?” he asked
“I will if I have too”
“I don’t think you will, there is too much good in you”
“Don’t make me! I will hurt you” Amber shouted
“Then show me” the man shouted back
Amber hesitated, she didn’t know who this man was, and something in the back of her mind told her not to hurt him, but there was something also telling her to kill the man standing be for her, she lifted her arm so that it was parallel with her body, she whipped her arm forward and the fire slid off her arm and shot towards the man. The man lifted himself off the ground so the fire would go underneath him, once the fire burnt out he went back down, “I’m surprised, I shouldn’t have doubted you”
“A lot have people have said that to me in the past” laughed Amber, “Who are you?”
“I am your guardian, more so your mentor” the man explained
“Really? That’s so cool!” Amber shouted
“I’m just here till you figure out all your powers, you have many” the man came closer to Amber “You are the most powerful person that I’ve ever been assigned to”
“So if you are like my guardian angel?”
“Yes, I’ll be watching over you, protecting you etcetera etcetera”
“Alright, well then do I get to know your name?” laughed Amber
“My name is Jonah; and just to let you know, if you ever need help, think my name”

Back ‘Home’

Amber teleported herself back to her new home, she was exhausted; the reason she was so tired was because she hadn’t slept for over 15 hours; technically she ‘slept’ for 3 hours when she pasted out, but that wasn’t really sleep, it was more so a self induced coma. Amber walked to her bed side, but before she could get in she was surrounded by people she never met, this was a time she was truly scared, “Can I help you?” she said in a shaky voice.
“Are you Amber Wrightman?” the man asked holding Amber’s arms behind her back so she couldn’t fight back or teleport out of the room.
“Who wants to know?”
“We just need you to answer the question, are you Amber or not?” the man said sternly
Amber didn’t know what to do, she remembered what her new mentor told her “If you ever need help, just think my name”, instead of thinking Jonahs name, she screamed it in her head “Jonah!! Jonah!!” she repeated his name over and over until she saw a silver glowing light in the corner of the room, “Thank you” she muttered. The men in the room turned all their attention to the mysterious light; the man holding on to her arms loosened his grip, giving Amber an advantage to fight back; she was able to get one hand free, once she did she ignited it. The man that was holding her tried to grab her other arm but it was no use Amber had already thrown the fire at his arm, “You little-” the man managed to say just before a ball of fire was pitched at his chest knocking him against the wall. All the other men were still mesmerized by the glowing light; Amber knocked them out with a powerful fire ball to the back. The glowing light stopped when all the men were unconscious. Andrew and the Grandmaster ran into the room to see Amber standing with her hand full of flames and 5 guys laying unconscious on the floor, Amber grew weak at the sight of her boyfriend running to the room. He quickly went to her side, she collapsed into his arms.
“We need to keep a closer eye on her” said the Grandmaster said placing a hand on Ambers head.
“I’ll put her in my room” Andrew sighed picking Amber up to carry his girlfriend into his room.

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"We Will Soar" MCMB
(this is my tattoo :3)
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Broken Heart
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Re: Needed

Post by Italin14 on Sun Feb 28, 2010 6:23 am

Well.... this has been an interestign story Ashley. Keep up the good work and everyone shuld enjoy this story because I know I do. Smile You just need to keep goingg
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Re: Needed

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