Sleep

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Sleep

Post by BlackOpal on Mon Jun 30, 2008 8:29 pm

Sleep pulls her insistently,
he wants company,
he wants to play.
She resists his tiny
hands as he pushes eyelids shut
and presses his
warm palm to her
heart, slowing its
steady beat.
Sleep nips and tugs,
prods and pulls,
begging her to
come with him.
But if she does
he takes today
for his own
and leaves her open to
the less certain face
of tomorrow.

_____________________

Concrit please? *looks cute*

_________________


I'll review if you review me. Very Happy
PM me if you'd like crit.
avatar
BlackOpal
Writing Whiz

Female
Number of posts : 156
Points :
5 / 1005 / 100

Points 2.0 : 0
Registration date : 2008-03-18

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Sleep

Post by Artemis F. on Mon Jun 30, 2008 8:30 pm

Very intriguing. I beleive you are rather good.

_________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXXiVrJ1CVA

Painters paint their pictures on canvas, but musicians paint their pictures on silence. I happen to be both.
-Leopold Stokowski
avatar
Artemis F.
Writing Star

Male
Number of posts : 413
Age : 30
Points :
15 / 10015 / 100

Points 2.0 : 0
Registration date : 2008-03-27

View user profile http://rpgworldwide.motion-forum.net/

Back to top Go down

Re: Sleep

Post by BPahl88 on Sun Sep 07, 2008 4:19 pm

Good. Very unique. Very Happy Good job!
avatar
BPahl88
Dang, this user has a lot of posts....
Dang, this user has a lot of posts....

Male
Number of posts : 3342
Age : 21
Points :
100 / 100100 / 100

Points 2.0 : 2196
Registration date : 2008-05-19

View user profile http://writersclubforum.lightbb.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: Sleep

Post by Broken Heart on Sun Sep 07, 2008 11:00 pm

Very good!!

I loved it =]

_________________
"We Will Soar" MCMB
(this is my tattoo :3)
avatar
Broken Heart
Prodigy Writer

Female
Number of posts : 1245
Age : 23
Points :
5 / 1005 / 100

Points 2.0 : 549
Registration date : 2008-04-14

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Sleep

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum