The Kingship

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The Kingship

Post by harrygz on Sat Mar 15, 2008 4:37 pm

This story takes place in Italy over 5,000 years before the Roman Empire. When elves still roamed free on our fertile land. The abundance of our many plants, and the beutiful night sky as the stars shone down on the many pure pools that covered the Earth. But our story does not start here on the flat land but up in the mountains. The mountains may look majestic from afar, but up close the craggy revines never end. Our story begins inside a hollowed out volcano called Vesunilevus. With the dwarfs! The sweat covered heat ridden dwarfs. On land the elfs call them "smithes" or in elf languages "rough skins." Our story takes place with one dwarf named Muntuck, "the dwarf of flames."
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Re: The Kingship

Post by 017350 on Sun Mar 16, 2008 12:38 am

Nice prologue. I've changed this to just plain "The Kingship" instead of "The Kingship prologue. Post all updates your story here.
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Re: The Kingship

Post by Dark Princess on Thu Mar 27, 2008 10:13 pm

I can't wait for the rest.Awsome Prologue.
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Re: The Kingship

Post by Artemis F. on Fri Mar 28, 2008 12:46 am

Ah, I see. Very nice.

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Re: The Kingship

Post by sweetkiss on Wed Apr 16, 2008 12:09 am

Very nice, I can't wait to read more.
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Re: The Kingship

Post by jeberexa on Sat Apr 19, 2008 11:09 pm

I can't wait to see the rest! Very Happy
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Re: The Kingship

Post by laxboy36 on Mon Apr 21, 2008 10:46 pm

hurry up and come up with the rest because that prolouge is epic


-justin
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Re: The Kingship

Post by Hazel on Sat Apr 26, 2008 6:40 am

Yea I agree that was a really good beginning!! Very Happy
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Re: The Kingship

Post by Topaz on Fri Jan 02, 2009 5:26 pm

start the story already! Electricity
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Re: The Kingship

Post by 2bAgen. on Sat Jan 03, 2009 3:58 pm

That's good.

Except you spelt beautiful wrong.

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Re: The Kingship

Post by Sirch Hanom on Thu May 28, 2009 4:32 am

A thing 'bout prologues....
1. The fourth wall. Talkin' to the reader is risky business in serious writing; do it too much, it loses the novelty and sounds like you are talking to someone, as opposed to telling a story. Careful in using 'Our story begins' or 'the setting is' or 'picture a....' and saying straight out "BAM! This is what's going on, the facts." That's a list of facts, statements. You don't need to say the story begins with Muntuck; the reader will figure that out when the first scene has him in it.
2. Careful with using stereotypes and cliches in this upcoming piece; if your main characters are dwarf(ve)s, don't make them like all the other dwarves in other stories. Don't use convienient, hackneyed, premade characters. Really make these characters like people, with more dimensions than "I'm a dwarf, I smith things and love gold." There was a story I read were dwarves had made smithing into magic through sheer skill at it, who had a whole religion based off of golems, and carved more dwarves out of rock. THINK ORIGINAL!
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