Lost in Thought- a Maximum Ride fanfiction

Uhmm... just harshly concrit, please.

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Lost in Thought

She curls up on her bed with her head between her knees.
Her head pumps in a steady rhythm (thump, thump) as the thoughts assault her mercilessly.
Their claws scratch and draw black, oozing blood from the recesses of her mind (thump, thump).
She doesn't want them, doesn't want to hear them (thump, thump), but she just can't seem to bring herself to stop their flow.
What they think, their view of her, of others, it is horrible. A sob is forced out of her and it tears at her tiny frame (thump, thump).
Max's confusing over everything is a maze that cannot be navigated. Her hatred for the school is a fire that never ends and never destroys, just burns unbearably, scalding for eternity (thump, thump).
Iggy's malice towards his parents is unending. But the real reason that he came back, his darkest, deepest secret, is bright and fresh in his mind at all times. Notions of love and betrayal (two things, she is learning, that often accompany each other) tempt him into insanity (thump, thump).
Gazzy's jealousy, his resentment of her superior powers, is a deafening ring in his mind and hers (thump, thump).
Nudge's hopelessness, her need for parents and dissatisfaction with the flock poisons everything she does (thump).
And Fang, when Fang thinks about Max... Angel blushes and recedes deeper into herself; she is never sure whether she feels disgust or pleasure when she intercepts the vivid pictures that he creates (thump).
It never stopped (thump).
For an instant she is lost among thoughts and feelings, unsure which are hers and which she just borrowed.
She panics and tries to quickly sort through the selves that inhabit her mind (thump, thump, thump).
Her heart speeds up. Which one is she? Which one is truly her?
(Thump, thump)
She is ambushed and drowning. Hate, lust, anger, love, desperation, they all flow into her lungs, their tentacles slither down her throat as she chokes on their presence (thump).
This is the adult world, this is what it is made of, and she cannot swim through it (thump).
She listens intently, holding her breath so that no more can come in, she follows the rhythm (thump, thump).
Blind and lost she makes her way back. Repressing her panic she walks, the steady pump of her mind guides her (thump, thump).
She finds it (thump), herself.
She hugs it to her chest (thump, thump) and refuses to let go.
She must stay brave; like the flock, like Max.
If only she could still believe that they were truly strong (thump).


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Wow, good job!!!
Defiantly goes good with the title..