I Want...

View previous topic View next topic Go down

I Want...

Post by Moonlite Knight on Wed Jun 04, 2008 11:41 pm

I want to look up
And see the clear sky.

To feel the cool grass
And hear the birds’ cry.

To see the sun set
And watch the moon rise.
I’ll stand with dry eyes,
And see everything
That can be seen, though
There is one thing
That may not be seen.

The one thing I want
The one thing I need,
Shall forever haunt me.

I know what I want,
Tough I may not get,
Is much more time than
I have now got left.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I had a depressing day, so I wrote a depressing poem. That's my only explanation for how bad this poem is.
Please tell me what you think. Thanks Like a Star @ heaven

_________________

¤´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·`¤~ Join the Kingdom of Darkness, or this shall be your fate.~¤´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·`¤
avatar
Moonlite Knight
Prodigy Writer

Female
Number of posts : 2031
Age : 27
Points :
20 / 10020 / 100

Points 2.0 : 469
Registration date : 2008-03-23

View user profile http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1221019/Moonlite_Knight

Back to top Go down

Re: I Want...

Post by Hazel on Wed Jun 04, 2008 11:51 pm

Aw, I don't think that it's a bad poem! Very Happy I think it's really good. I love the first two stanzas the very best! Very Happy

_________________
Message written with 100 percent more love and care than the leading brand!



Hazel, the pizza eating, hand walking, inconspicuous ninja, who secretly enjoys eating ice cream while singing at the top of her lungs and dancing around like a maniac, has mega cool superpowers in which she will one day save the world that always seems to be in peril. That is her purpose in life.
avatar
Hazel
Moderator

Female
Number of posts : 11563
Age : 106
Points :
63 / 10063 / 100

Points 2.0 : 10202
Registration date : 2008-04-10

View user profile http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/619558

Back to top Go down

Re: I Want...

Post by Moonlite Squire on Thu Jun 05, 2008 9:04 pm

It's ok...i guess. Shocked
avatar
Moonlite Squire
Learned Writer

Female
Number of posts : 72
Age : 22
Points :
5 / 1005 / 100

Points 2.0 : 11
Registration date : 2008-04-20

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: I Want...

Post by BPahl88 on Fri Jun 06, 2008 1:01 am

That was great! I wonder why you say it's a bad poem, because it's not. Colorful
avatar
BPahl88
Dang, this user has a lot of posts....
Dang, this user has a lot of posts....

Male
Number of posts : 3342
Age : 21
Points :
100 / 100100 / 100

Points 2.0 : 2196
Registration date : 2008-05-19

View user profile http://writersclubforum.lightbb.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: I Want...

Post by Moonlite Knight on Fri Jun 06, 2008 2:02 am

Thank you everyone! I thought it was bad becuase the rhyming seems kind of off to me and I was not in a happy mood when I posted this, so I thought it was bad. Anyway, thank you for telling me what you think! Very Happy

_________________

¤´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·`¤~ Join the Kingdom of Darkness, or this shall be your fate.~¤´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·`¤
avatar
Moonlite Knight
Prodigy Writer

Female
Number of posts : 2031
Age : 27
Points :
20 / 10020 / 100

Points 2.0 : 469
Registration date : 2008-03-23

View user profile http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1221019/Moonlite_Knight

Back to top Go down

Re: I Want...

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum