Fragile Stance

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Fragile Stance

Post by BlackOpal on Tue Jun 03, 2008 7:42 pm

I'm not quite sure that the formatting on this one looks right, so I'll put two versions.
Same words, just I pressed enter at different times.

_________________________
Fragile Stance

Fragile Stance

Tiptoes resent
their fragile stance
as they walk over
bold, bright reds that
scald their wooden thoughts.

Ashes are chased
as they blow
in no wind
to flee
from the
fire that
burned
them.

_________________________

Tiptoes resent
their fragile stance
as they walk over
bright, burning reds
that scald their
wooden thoughts.

Ashes are chased
as they blow
in no wind
to flee from
the fire that burned them
_________________________


It's basically about having an imperfect ideal and trying to argue something with feeling against someone who uses logic. If that helps you understand it.

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Re: Fragile Stance

Post by jeberexa on Tue Jun 03, 2008 7:44 pm

Sorry, my mind is just not that philosophical; therefore, I don't understand your poem. It sounds good, though! Very Happy

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Re: Fragile Stance

Post by Hazel on Tue Jun 03, 2008 8:24 pm

I'm with jeberexa on that one, but it still was good....i personally liked the second one better..the first one seemed a little too choppy. Very Happy

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Re: Fragile Stance

Post by Moonlite Knight on Wed Jun 04, 2008 11:31 pm

Acrually, I liked the first one better. The way it was formatted in the first one made it seem more meaningful, to me anyway. Your poem was awesome, I loved it! Very Happy

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Re: Fragile Stance

Post by BPahl88 on Mon Jun 23, 2008 3:55 pm

I think the second one is better. It's a really good poem. I also don't understand it, but it makes you think. Smile

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Re: Fragile Stance

Post by xStarr_x3 on Mon Jun 23, 2008 5:17 pm

I liked it. And, suprisingly, I could understand it pretty well. I liked how you formatted the first poem.

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Re: Fragile Stance

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