Mother Earth

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Mother Earth

Post by Hazel on Sun May 25, 2008 8:31 pm

((poem removed by author))


Last edited by Hazel on Wed Jul 22, 2009 5:52 am; edited 2 times in total

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Hazel, the pizza eating, hand walking, inconspicuous ninja, who secretly enjoys eating ice cream while singing at the top of her lungs and dancing around like a maniac, has mega cool superpowers in which she will one day save the world that always seems to be in peril. That is her purpose in life.
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Re: Mother Earth

Post by BlackOpal on Sun May 25, 2008 11:15 pm

I like it, a good free verse.
Some of it didn't flow too well.

Prove to me that you know more than death and destruction
That might work better in two lines.
The longer sentences can be split to make it work better.
Or, I think that they can, that way is fine too.

I loved it. It has a great message.
I loved "value the life of me".
Great job.
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Re: Mother Earth

Post by Moonlite Knight on Mon May 26, 2008 2:11 am

That was really good! I liked it, espically this part:

"Value the life of me, of you.
Take care of me
Your Mother Earth."

I think that it can be true, and I really like the message that you put in your poem, though I have to agree with BO, that some parts, like the one she mentioned don't flow well. But it's still very good! I like it Very Happy

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Re: Mother Earth

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