A Stranger in the City

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A Stranger in the City

Post by Moonlite Knight on Wed May 14, 2008 2:56 am

Do you see that stranger in the city?
She’s scared and lost, and obviously alone.
Is there no one with a heart and pity,
Who’ll help that child as though she was their own?

No one knows her, nor do they really care.
You see, they’ve all got worries of their own,
They follow the system and do not dare
To rebel for one who was not here born.

She blunders on, hoping they will help her
But they turn their faces when she approaches
One would think she had committed murder,
The way they fled, like small frightened roaches.

She’s a lone stranger in a foreign land.
No one cares enough to lend her a hand.
~ Like a Star @ heaven ~ Like a Star @ heaven ~ Like a Star @ heaven ~ Like a Star @ heaven ~ Like a Star @ heaven ~ Like a Star @ heaven ~ Like a Star @ heaven ~
This a very odd poem, becuase I started out, planning on it being a love poem, and it somehow ended up being a whatever-this-genre-is poem. Anyway, please tell me what you think. Thanks! bounce

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Re: A Stranger in the City

Post by Moonlite Squire on Thu May 15, 2008 5:59 am

it makes me cry!!!! dont worry child i will help!!!
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Re: A Stranger in the City

Post by Hazel on Fri May 16, 2008 11:08 pm

I think this is a great poem. And I agree with Moonlight Squire that is sad but i think it is still good. Very Happy

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Re: A Stranger in the City

Post by BlackOpal on Fri May 16, 2008 11:08 pm

I really like it.
It's a great commentary on humanity.


But they turn their faces when she approaches

Very good, people turn their faces, if they cannot see her, they do not know that she exists. They are blameless because of ignorance and cannot be found faulty for ignoring her.



One would think she had committed murder,

I don't like that line, it seems a little... off. It doesn't really fit with the rhythm of the rest of the poem.



The way they fled, like small frightened roaches.

I think a word like scattered would work better.
Fled is alright too.


Awesome poem, though.
It's really amazing. A great job.
It can apply to so many things.
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