Haikus- because who needs a good English mark?

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Haikus- because who needs a good English mark?

Post by BlackOpal on Thu May 08, 2008 11:21 pm

Well, I'm supposed to be doing my English ISU.
But I wrote some Haikus instead.
And they aren't the typical Haiku (and may even break a rule or two, I'm not sure) but they are, at the very least, Haiku-ish.
They are procrastination Haikus. So I'm not sure what quality they are.
I'll just put the subject matter as the title on each one.

_______________________________________________
Haikus

On Literature
Unfolding softly
Across hidden, fertile snow
Spilling its own blood

On The Archetypal Snake
Always moving 'round
Devouring and birthing love
Flinching from danger

On Lucifer/Humanity
Dark, whistling void
Where I'm to fall forever
If I can't get out

On Life/Death
Laughter bubbles, eyes
Alight, nothing brings joy like
Cold, eternal fear

On Childhood
The ground appears soft
Only when you've climbed so high
That you cannot reach

On being what others want you to be
Bless me with blankness
Write thoughts in the purest blood
To shine like the sun

On Conchs, Democracy, and ideals
Lost in hollow swirls
Echoing against no walls
Broken to be strong

On Digging for gold
The shovel strikes dirt
Which flies unmercifully
And shows barren doors


_______________________________________________

So, did you understand them? Or did you think that I was a rambling fool?
Or maybe both. Both is very possible.
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Re: Haikus- because who needs a good English mark?

Post by 017350 on Fri May 09, 2008 12:54 am

Really good. Too short to crit though. Some of them will be good book material.

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Re: Haikus- because who needs a good English mark?

Post by Moonlite Knight on Fri May 09, 2008 12:59 am

Wow, all of them are really good. I agree with 017350. I like the Literature, Life/Death, and gold one the best. Good job! Smile

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Re: Haikus- because who needs a good English mark?

Post by Hazel on Fri May 09, 2008 2:43 am

Yea, I think these are good too. I'm not really into writing them cause I don't like the strict meter, but I think those were great and fun to read!! Very Happy
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Re: Haikus- because who needs a good English mark?

Post by Sofie on Fri May 09, 2008 1:03 pm

Nice! They send you thinking, and like a good haiku is supposed to, they say alot without saying much. If that makes sense.
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Re: Haikus- because who needs a good English mark?

Post by BlackOpal on Sun May 11, 2008 8:08 pm

Thanks so much guys. Very Happy
I wrote some more Haikus.
These aren't as good, I don't think, but they're something.
Tell me what you think.

On God
When looking into
a mirror, one does not see
the same as others

On Playgrounds
Waiting patiently
Moved by nothing but the wind
Always, the steel sleeps

On Mirrors
When looking at you
I find myself reflected
In such great detail

On a lack of shoes
Mud covered, cut, bruised
Please, carry me anywhere
The feet of summer

On Forbidden Fruit
I am glad I ate
the apple. To be happy
always would be *.

On Stars
If you shine so bright,
why do you hide in plain sight?
Or is it our light?

On Pennies and the Masses
I am worthless to
most, but I make up what is
important to all.


Last edited by jeberexa on Sun May 11, 2008 9:45 pm; edited 3 times in total
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Re: Haikus- because who needs a good English mark?

Post by Hazel on Sun May 11, 2008 8:12 pm

These are really good too. I like the ones on Pennies and Forbidden Fruit. They seem especially true to me. Mr. Pink

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Re: Haikus- because who needs a good English mark?

Post by jeberexa on Sun May 11, 2008 9:45 pm

I really like how you gave the subject matter. That way people can scroll down and only glance at poems that have an interest.

I liked the On Conchs, Democracy, and ideals, and On Stars.

Smile
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Re: Haikus- because who needs a good English mark?

Post by Sofie on Sun May 11, 2008 9:59 pm

I adore 'On lack of shoes'!^^
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