A Contract with the Devil.

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A Contract with the Devil.

Post by Hazel on Wed Feb 23, 2011 2:44 am

It has been ages since I wrote a poem so I'm afraid this one isn't that great, but whatever Razz It's #21 Hell




(If someone want to give me a better word to rhyme with "sinful" I'm all ears Smile I know the last stanza didn't rhyme right, I just could help it, I wanted that ending too much XD)


Last edited by Hazel on Thu Jun 16, 2011 7:20 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: A Contract with the Devil.

Post by xStarr_x3 on Wed Feb 23, 2011 2:49 am

I love the title for this. It caught my attention right away.

You need a comma here: "Go on[,] don't be shy"

For sinful... maniacal? I have no idea. xD Google says any word ending in 'ful', so...

The rhyming is off a bit in the last one, as you said. I don't know how much work it would take to make it rhyme, but it seems fine how it is.

I applaud you for writing a rhyming poem. xD I hate rhyming.

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Re: A Contract with the Devil.

Post by bibbit on Wed Feb 23, 2011 2:52 am

I love this. The structure is simple, but the rhyming is catchy.
The wording makes the devil seem really... well, devious.

If you can make the word "dwindle" work (I think you can if you try!), it would sound great with "sinful."

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Re: A Contract with the Devil.

Post by Hazel on Wed Feb 23, 2011 5:12 am

Thanks guys Smile
Yeah I realized how perfect "sinful" was but like nothing rhymed with it haha. I may be able to get dwindle to work though.
A lot of my poems end up rhyming, I don't know why because it can be a pain haha. Razz

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Re: A Contract with the Devil.

Post by BPahl88 on Thu Feb 24, 2011 1:29 am

If I may use the transitive property.

Rhyming poems are great. Your poem rhymes. Therefore, your poem is great.

The rhyming is defiently catchy. Smile
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