The Ice Rose

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The Ice Rose

Post by Holleh on Mon Nov 08, 2010 1:49 am

Removed because of publishing stuff. xP
Wanna see it, just let me know. ^^
It'll be on Inkpop once I reach 10k words, though.


Last edited by Holleh on Thu Dec 16, 2010 11:40 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Re: The Ice Rose

Post by xStarr_x3 on Mon Nov 08, 2010 3:28 am

I told you my opinions before. x33
I still like it.
AND WOAH. She has green hair? Epic.
What time period is this set? Or is it like... extreme fantasy? o:
The speech seems a bit formal to me, but if it was like that in your time period and you keep it consistent, I think it works well for you. It helps me get into the mood of your story a bit faster.

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Re: The Ice Rose

Post by Holleh on Mon Nov 08, 2010 3:39 am

...Yes. xD
It's fantasy in the sense that it's set in a different world with different lands, and there is some magic involved and stuff. And obviously weird hair colors. xP As far as time period goes, no specific time period in which it is parallel to that of Earth, but I picture it set in old times, with no electricity and all that.
Yes, the speech is meant to be formal, so if something seems too informal or something, please let me know. xP I'm thinking about changing the contractions to make it more formal, actually.
I think I do formal writing better than casual. xD
Thank you for the feedback. ^^
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Re: The Ice Rose

Post by Hazel on Mon Nov 08, 2010 5:48 am

This is awesome, kind of reminds of a fairytale for teens/adults over children XD

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Re: The Ice Rose

Post by Holleh on Tue Nov 09, 2010 1:54 am

See first post. xP


Last edited by Holleh on Thu Dec 16, 2010 11:41 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: The Ice Rose

Post by Hazel on Fri Nov 12, 2010 10:15 pm

Well I'd say it was good. Horribly predictable though, even non-suspense stories needs suspense. I'd suggest making it a little less obvious, maybe he has is eye on the cute blonde girl in the front or something. I don't know.

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Re: The Ice Rose

Post by Holleh on Sat Nov 13, 2010 1:08 am

Well the deciding isn't really the main point of the story. But yeah, I know it's obvious. May or may not edit. xP
Thanks for the feedback though~
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Re: The Ice Rose

Post by Hazel on Sat Nov 13, 2010 2:31 am

Yeah I sort of figured it wasn't, I just thought since it was a whole chapter, that it was worth mentioning XD

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Re: The Ice Rose

Post by Holleh on Tue Feb 22, 2011 1:16 am

OH YEAH. If you guys wanna keep reading it and stuff, you can now find it here:
http://inkpop.com/projects/90771/the-ice-rose/read-project/#chapter

(:
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Re: The Ice Rose

Post by Hazel on Tue Feb 22, 2011 2:38 am

I'M GOING TO READ IT. cheers
I thought that deserved all caps cause I'm pretty excited about it Smile
I'm not sure when I'll read it. I have about 30 more pages in one story to write and 80 in the other plus school work.....WHY AM I SO BUSY? Anyways, I am going to read it, and though you should know that Smile

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