Untitled Sci-fi-ish Story

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Untitled Sci-fi-ish Story

Post by WritingInsomniac on Mon Jul 05, 2010 4:55 am

Bonjour! so.. i saw the hurt locker and it was AWFUL (no offense), but it re-affirmed my undying love for district 9. so i was feeling sci-fi and i promise this will in fact turn sci-fi (though my love for sci-fi is beyond unnatural i don't normally write it). so i spent today's insomnia writing the prologue-ish type thing for this. tomorrow will hopefully be chapter 1!

Graduation day. Fear, excitement, and a hell of a lot of blood coursed through my veins. I was finally free to go out into the world; finally free to make my own name and my own discoveries.
“Nolan Miller,” my name was called and I slowly climbed the stairs up to the stage. I shook the hands of many people who I’d never seen before, and, most importantly, who I’d never see again. The ceremony was so long, it felt almost like the end of The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. I swear, the reason they make those ceremonies so long is no one will ever be tempted to come back again. Eventually it was over, and I squeezed my way through many people until my eyes finally rested on a group that made my heart relax. There were my parents, my sister, and the love of my life, Fia.
“There’s the graduate!” my father, William, yelled out boisterously.
“Congratulations, Nolan,” my sister, Adelina, said and squeezed my arm when I reached the group.
“Now, Nolan, don’t take this the wrong way. I’m extremely proud of you,” my mother started in, “but you have to do something about that god awful haircut.”
“Ophelia,” my father said, “give the boy a rest he’s been studying hard for weeks. He will have nothing but time to get his hair cut shortly.” They had a valid point. My hair had grown to a length that could only be described as my mother said, “god-awful.” It was clean, though, so it was a step up from yesterday.
“At least it’s clean,” Fia said, pulling at a strand of my hair and smiling at me. I still have no idea how I got her. Fia had dark hair and dark eyes. Her Greek roots gave her skin a bit more color than your average pasty white folks, and her smile was a force to be reckoned with.
“Enough about the hair,” Adelina cut in, “how do you feel?”
“I feel pretty good,” I said, speaking for the first time.
“Well, slow down, there, don’t get too excited,” Adelina replied sarcastically.
“Sorry,” I smiled apologetically, “just a bit overwhelmed.”
“Well, of course you are. You’re starting a whole new life now. A life that you’ll be living for the rest of your life,” my dad said with a false drama. I knew that what he said was true, but it didn’t scare me for a moment. In truth, I was so excited to get myself a full-time job in a lab, make some discoveries, and solve the mysteries of the universe. There was only one more thing I needed before I would have a life that was nothing like I’d ever dreamed of, but wonderful nonetheless.
We stood small-talking for a little while longer before my family broke off and it was just me and Fia. She drove me to my apartment so I could change for a dinner celebration that was occurring sooner than I’d hoped.
“Will you come up with me?” I asked.
“Scared there’s a burglar in your closet, again?” she joked. I knew I shouldn’t have called her that one night, but I had just watched the entire Bourne trilogy and I couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was watching me.
“No,” I laughed, “I just… Will you come up?”
“I have to go get ready, too,” she said.
“For a minute?” I asked.
“Okay, for a minute,” she said, unbuckling her seatbelt.
I changed into a white shirt and black tie before finding Fia sitting comfortably on my sofa. She smiled when she saw me. I couldn’t help walking over and giving her a kiss.
“You really do need a haircut,” she whispered. I laughed and took her hand, “What are you doing?” I stared right into her eyes for a few seconds, and then I started to bend my left leg, never breaking my gaze from her eyes.
“Oh my God, Nolan. What are you doing?” she asked, sounding pretty terrified. It didn’t help with my nerves.
“Fia,” I started shakily, “I never thought that I’d be so lucky as to fall in love with a woman like you. I definitely never thought that I’d be lucky enough to have that woman love me back. I don’t know what I’d do without you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?” Fia’s hands were cupped over her mouth and I slowly reached into my pocket and pulled out a box with my great-grandma’s wedding ring resting inside. There was a silence that felt like an hour, and all I could hear was Fia’s breathing. Her hands finally coming away from her mouth, she fell to her knees and put her hands firmly on either side of my face.
“Of course,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Fia had rushed home to change before the party, the ring now in it’s permanent home on her left ring finger. I left my apartment and took the stairs instead of the elevator, rushing down two steps at a time. Nothing could bring me down. I tried not to run down the sidewalk. The restaurant was only three blocks away from my house, so walking seemed like the logical choice. Cars rushed by me, their wheels sounding more like music than their usual annoying scrape of rubber on concrete. I took a left, and I was met with a totally different mood. The sounds of the cars grew faint, and it was just me alone with my thoughts. Next I heard the quiet hum of a car engine coming up behind me. I thought nothing of it and kept walking, until the car pulled up right beside me. It was one of those typical cars that strike fear into the hearts of the paranoid just when you see them. I kept walking, but my heart started pumping faster. The car stopped, and a man got out. He didn’t have any crazy scars on his face, in fact, he wasn’t a bad looking man in my total straight-guy opinion. He had short black hair which was styled in a way that it looked like he hadn’t styled it.
“Nolan Miller?” he asked.
“Yeah?” I asked, a ringing starting in my ears.
“Will you please get in the car?”
“I’m late for a dinner party,” I said, as if that was going to make him change his mind.
“You’re going to have to get in the car,” he said.
“What do you want?” I asked, suddenly getting a totally false sense of strength.
“I’ll explain once you are seated in the car,” he said, his lips pulled very tightly together.
“No,” I said, and I started running as fast as I have ever run. The problem is, knowing everything there is to know about physics and a fair amount about other sciences doesn’t actually help you when it comes to running away from strange men in dark coats. I was caught promptly and hauled into the car – not my best experience.
“Well, Mr. Miller, now that we’ve got you, there’s something we have to talk to you about.”
“Can you make it quick? I’m late.”
“Sure. Johnson?” he said, gesturing to a man who I hadn’t yet noticed. He had horrible scars on his face. Well, not super horrible scars, but it looked as though he had a scar from a knife on his right cheek. The last thing I saw was his gigantic fist coming right towards my head, and then impenetrable dark.

Yes, I know no one has read this - no I don't care! ha ha. chapter 1 is going up right now!


Last edited by WritingInsomniac on Wed Jul 21, 2010 3:59 am; edited 4 times in total
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Re: Untitled Sci-fi-ish Story

Post by WritingInsomniac on Wed Jul 21, 2010 4:01 am

this is the first of three chapters i have written - i am very much hoping to write or at least start the fourth tomorrow. happy reading!

Chapter 1 - Kharms

My eyes feel like stones embedded in my skull. I know I should open them, but I am having trouble mustering the strength. Finally, I peel the right eye open, and slowly the left joins in. My head throbs with a pulse of it’s own and I try to sit up. It’s seeming impossible for the time being, so I just lay there, staring at a perfectly white ceiling. Slowly, I remember everything that has happened: graduating, Fia, and that giant fist.
“Fia,” I croak out, my voice sounding strange, “Fia, are you there?” No answer. I was secretly hoping she’d found me and had gotten me somewhere safe. The feeling in the pit of my stomach is telling me something I know is true: I’m still in danger. I blink my eyes hard a few times, trying to clear my head. I forced myself upright in the bed I was sleeping in. It wasn’t a bed I’d ever been in before. I swung my feet over the bed, and slowly got up. I looked down, rubbing my eyes. I was wearing a black t-shirt and gray sweats. That made no sense. Did they change me into something more comfortable for sleeping in? The room I was in had nothing but a bed. I walked out of the room and into an equally plain kitchen, with a fridge and counters. There was nothing in the space that I can only assume was the living room. I didn’t see anyone around, and my stomach was growling, so I walked towards the fridge, my footsteps creaking ferociously. I hoped they wouldn’t come back for me. I wasn’t even sure what they could have possibly wanted with me. Reaching the fridge, I pulled the handle and was disappointed to see nothing inside. I slammed the fridge door shut, feeling very frustrated. Did they just want me to starve in here? Why did they leave me in a full apartment with no one visible to keep me there? Maybe they’d just left me here, assuming I would die. That was probably it. Well, they were wrong. I walked briskly towards the door and left the apartment.

Walking down the stairs I saw no one. Then I was outside on an unfamiliar street with people passing on every side of me. My eyes frantically looked around, hoping for something that would strike a chord of recognition. Again, it was seeming luck was not on my side. I walked, my bare feet flinching as they stepped on tiny pieces of rock on the sidewalk. I wasn’t walking long when I saw a drug store up ahead. I quickly approached it and ducked inside. Hurriedly I found the food section and hastily grabbed a box of cereal. That’s when it hit me. I reached into my pockets, and there was not a cent in there. I had no way to pay for this, but I needed food. I couldn’t very easily steal a box of cereal. In fact, I couldn’t very easily steal anything. I had never stolen in my youth and had no experience in living “outside the law.” In that moment, I didn’t care about all my moral standards. I continued to walk down the food aisles until I found something small enough to smuggle out of here. The only thing I found was an apple, and I figured it was worth a shot. I clasped the apple between my two hands and casually rested them behind my back. I began a quick-but-not-too-quick walk towards the door. Nothing was stopping me. The automatic door was swinging open in front of me and all I had was a few more steps to go…
“Excuse me,” came a voice from behind me. I turned around to see a very non-threatening looking man walking towards me. He had short, light brown hair that was parted directly in the center and glasses. He didn’t look too young, my guess would be about twenty. He wore a store uniform that was made a bit too big for him.
“Yes?” I asked.
“Are you planning on paying for that?” he said, gesturing towards my apple.
“Please,” I went straight to begging mode, “I just need something to eat, I don’t know where my money is. Hell, I don’t even know where I am.”
“You’re in Shopper’s Drug Mart,” the boy said, a curious look on his face.
“That I knew, but what city?” I asked, taking advantage of this conversation to get some information.
“New York,” he said.
“New York?” I asked, just to clarify. Yesterday I had been graduating in California. How did I get to New York? How long had I been blacked out for?
“You do know that’s a wax apple, right?” the boy was now asking me.
“Huh?”
“The apple you’re stealing, it’s made out of wax.” I held the apple out in front of me. It appeared to be no use denying that I was stealing now. I looked at the very red apple. It looked very real, could he be lying just so I’ll give the apple back? There was only one way to find out. I raised the apple to my mouth and took a bite. It was wax. I looked up to see the boy with a very amused look on his face.
“What’s your name?” he asked.
“Nolan,” I replied. The boy’s face went white as snow.
“Are you…” he whispered, “you can’t be.”
“Can’t be what?” I asked.
“Are you Nolan Miller?” he finally asked. This was weird. No one knew who I was, especially not random freshmen who worked in drug stores.
“How do you know my name?” I asked. I was not destined to get a reply. He had already grabbed my arm and was escorting me from the store, the wax apple still in my hand. He didn’t let go of my arm until he hastily pushed me into a car.
“Are you crazy?” he hissed, shutting the door as he climbed into the driver’s side of the car.
“What?” I asked, still completely clueless.
“You can’t just walk outside like that. What if someone recognized you?”
“I’ve never been to New York before, so I highly doubt I’d know too many people.” He looked at me for a few seconds. I had a very uneasy feeling tossing around in my gut.
“Buckle up,” he said. He turned the keys into the ignition and started backing out of his parking spot.
“Whoa, whoa,” I said, still wary from the last time I got into a car with strangers, “Tell me what’s going on before you kidnap me.” He didn’t stop. He started driving, and I quickly realized I was not the one to ask questions in this situation. Soon we were out on the open highway.
“I’m taking you somewhere safe,” the boy finally said.
“What’s your name?” I asked, knowing that questions about our destination would be answered soon enough. Now I wanted to find out about my captor.
“Theodore,” he said.
“Alright, Theodore. Why were you so concerned about people recognizing me?”
“There are people who don’t like you, Nolan. It would be unfortunate if these people found you.” I didn’t know what to say to that. I didn’t think there was anyone who didn’t really like me. There was that one girl who I never called back, and that guy who I accidentally hit with my car, but I think that was it.
“Which people?” I asked.
“I can’t explain it to you. What’s the last thing you remember?” I sat puzzling for a few moments before being prompted again, this time more harshly, “Nolan, what’s the last thing you remember?”
“I was in a car,” I answered quickly, “I was on my way to my graduation celebration and these guys took me into the car. One punched me, I blacked out, and they must have brought me here.”
“High School or University graduation?” Theodore asked, signaling into the next lane.
“University,” I said. Did I really look young enough to be graduating from high school? That was an insult. Maybe I should grow a beard.
“What did the men look like?” Theodore asked, turning down a side street lined with houses.
“I didn’t really get a good…”
“What did they look like?” Theodore asked again.
“The one that punched me had a scar on his face. He was bald, and very large.”
“Were there others?”
“A man in a black jacket. He had black hair,” I said.
“Dorian,” Theodore mumbled.
“What?” I asked.
“Open the glove compartment, take out the magazine.” I obeyed, pulling out a copy of Time magazine. On the front cover was the same man I had seen just last night. It appeared he was #1 of Time magazine’s Most Influential People.
“That’s Dorian Hirsh,” he said.
“What does he have to do with me?”
“He’s the one who doesn’t like you,” Theodore said. I sat thinking about this. I’d only met Dorian once on that street. What was his reason for being there? Plus, wouldn’t I have heard of him if he was the Most Influential Person?
“He was the one who discovered Kharms,” he said.
“Kharms?” I asked.
“Sorry. He’s the one who claimed he discovered Kharms,” Theodore corrected.
“Yeah, sure. What are Kharms?” I asked.
“Shit. Of course,” Theodore said, “Don’t worry, you’ll know what Kharms are soon enough.” He pulled into a driveway of a small little house and quickly dragged me into it, telling me to keep my head down as I walked towards the door. Then I was inside.
“I have to go back to work,” he said, “I’ll be home tonight.” He left, locking the door behind him as he went, and I was met with a total silence. The next thing I heard was a soft creaking of footsteps, slowly approaching me. My heart raced and I began to back towards the door. The footsteps grew nearer, and I was just reaching for the knob when the footstep-maker walked out into the room where I was standing. Instantly my fear disappeared. Standing, looking directly up at me, was a woman. She was very blonde and pale, and there were red circles around her eyes, as if she’d either been crying or sleeping.
“Who are you?” she asked, her voice shaking.
“I’m Nolan Miller, I was dropped off here by…” I struggled to think of the name for a moment.
“Theodore?”
“Yeah. Theodore.”
“Why are you here?”
“You tell me.”
“I’m Rena,” she said, clearly not having an answer for me.
“Nice to meet you. Why are you here?”
“The Kharms…” she started and trailed off.
“What are Kharms?” I asked quickly, hoping for an answer this time. She turned and began to walk back down the hallway. I followed her. She didn’t object to my following. We passed three doors before she opened a door on the left side. She held it open so I could walk in, and then entered behind me, closing the door. My breath was temporarily unable to reach my lungs. Sitting in the corner was something I’d never seen before, not even on the Discovery Channel. It was almost half-lizard, half-human. It sat on a chair like a human, it had long black hair that looked fairly human. Yet it was far from human. Its skin was a dark green color and had a very scaly texture. It was gazing out of the window, but turned to look at me. It had darkly-colored eyes, but it had a nose and a mouth, all very human features.
“Nolan Miller?” it said in a very strangled and crackly voice, “Are you here to help us?”
What the hell is going on?

TA DA! thoughts?
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Re: Untitled Sci-fi-ish Story

Post by xStarr_x3 on Wed Jul 21, 2010 5:20 pm

Is this the story that has the quote/poem/thing in it? o:

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Re: Untitled Sci-fi-ish Story

Post by WritingInsomniac on Wed Jul 21, 2010 5:53 pm

you bet! just the prologue and first chapter... the poem thingy comes in way way later. it's more towards the climax of the story.
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Re: Untitled Sci-fi-ish Story

Post by xStarr_x3 on Wed Jul 21, 2010 7:57 pm

Okayyy, I began skimming the prologue. It's not exactly.. hooking. It's a lot of speaking, which isn't always exactly the best thing. It bores me. Dx
I skimmed through the first chapter as well, and it's much the same way. And since you introduced a ton of characters at once in the prologue... it confused me.
There's my small piece of critic. x3

_________________
Holleh likes taking evil slumbers. (and stealing candy from babies.)
She's PREGNANT. With a cow. How..?!
Holleh speaks to herself. In dreams.
HOLLEHS: Now come tree-size!
Holleh talks hotter than the sun. ;o
Holleh is an IN-SPURR-AY-SHUN. Believe it.
She thinks an artichoke is a type of fish.
She also gives lap-dances. To beds.
Holleh can van like a man.
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Re: Untitled Sci-fi-ish Story

Post by WritingInsomniac on Wed Jul 21, 2010 8:41 pm

yeah i did have worries about the prologue. the thing is that it sets up the story.. so i'm not sure. i may just write more of it and see if there is any other way i can start it off. i can easily cut out some of the family characters, it felt weird when I was writing it as well. Again, chapter one is very much scene-setting and opening up some mysteries... i'll see what i can do! thanks for the critique!
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