I Believe

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I Believe

Post by WritingInsomniac on Wed Jun 30, 2010 7:38 pm

a poem. hopefully you'll enjoy!

I believe in the power of love
I believe in the power of fate

I believe in feeling something more
I believe in making you wait

I believe in taking risks
I believe in taking bait

I believe the words of one can change everything
I believe that there is no hate

I believe in history and science
I believe that I can teach this state

I believe in myself alone
I believe in finding out my own fate


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Re: I Believe

Post by Hazel on Wed Jun 30, 2010 10:11 pm

Aw I like the meaning in this poem. I also loved the rhyming scheme! I especially liked the lines where the syllable count matched up. Razz

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Re: I Believe

Post by xStarr_x3 on Wed Jun 30, 2010 11:16 pm

Before I even finished reading the first line, it reminded me of a song by 30secondstomars, 100 Suns. 'Though it's probably just the repetitive "I believe"s which made me think of it.

The only lines that irk me are:
"I believe in taking risks
I believe in taking bait"
Those two lines convey the same thing. I suggest changing one of them.

But otherwise, I liked it. ^^

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Re: I Believe

Post by WritingInsomniac on Thu Jul 01, 2010 2:33 am

thanks for the feedback guys! this was just a spur of the moment thing during the day.
starr: never heard that song before! i should check it out. and i'll look at changing risks/bait part.. thats helpful to know though. i felt weird about those lines as well.. they're definitely the weakest of the poem.

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Re: I Believe

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