The Other Guy

View previous topic View next topic Go down

The Other Guy

Post by GoMulchGo on Sat May 22, 2010 5:05 am

The one you rejected;
he was the other guy.
The soul that you waved off;
he was the other guy.

The one that you would need;
he was the other guy.
The soul that could help you;
he was the other guy.

That one, that needs you most;
he was the other guy.
The soul that deserved you;
he was the other guy.

The hope inside him, died.
The other guy, was me.
avatar
GoMulchGo
Writing Whiz

Male
Number of posts : 213
Age : 22
Points :
0 / 1000 / 100

Points 2.0 : 15
Registration date : 2008-05-09

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: The Other Guy

Post by xStarr_x3 on Sat May 22, 2010 11:43 pm

Awhh, I like it.
I think it's how a lot of the world feels sometimes, just that they've been pushed aside.

_________________
Holleh likes taking evil slumbers. (and stealing candy from babies.)
She's PREGNANT. With a cow. How..?!
Holleh speaks to herself. In dreams.
HOLLEHS: Now come tree-size!
Holleh talks hotter than the sun. ;o
Holleh is an IN-SPURR-AY-SHUN. Believe it.
She thinks an artichoke is a type of fish.
She also gives lap-dances. To beds.
Holleh can van like a man.
avatar
xStarr_x3
Elite, Supreme, Whiz, Prodigy, Super-Duper World-Class Writer

Female
Number of posts : 7005
Age : 22
Points :
35 / 10035 / 100

Points 2.0 : 5901
Registration date : 2008-05-22

View user profile http://www.freewebs.com/awhisperinthedark

Back to top Go down

Re: The Other Guy

Post by BPahl88 on Wed May 26, 2010 3:39 am

Loved it.

What I found very interesting was that you sorta connected the stanzas together. A>A, B>B, C>C, D>D. Very original. And actually, the last line took me for a shock. I wasn't thinking the "other guy" was "me". IN my mind, I was thinking the "other guy" was some random old man or something. It actually... I don't know. But I liked it.

Overall, very very VERY original. I personally think it could've been a bit longer but still with those connections. But still, loved it! Very Happy


ELECTRIC BOOGALOO!!!
avatar
BPahl88
Dang, this user has a lot of posts....
Dang, this user has a lot of posts....

Male
Number of posts : 3342
Age : 21
Points :
100 / 100100 / 100

Points 2.0 : 2196
Registration date : 2008-05-19

View user profile http://writersclubforum.lightbb.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: The Other Guy

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum