Letter to You

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Letter to You

Post by mbishop923 on Thu Mar 25, 2010 4:57 am

------- ó
I feel like if I donít tell you this now, Iíll never feel the need to tell you again. You deserve to know the truth, but more than that, I deserve to not have to bear these feelings alone. From the moment I first saw you, I knew I wanted you, more than anything Iíve ever wanted before. I talked to you, I became your friend. To you it was probably innocent, but to me, it was always just a step towards finally having all of you. I feel like I took advantage of you, of our friendship, of all the things you entrusted to me, your best friend. Things got out of hand, and I never meant to put you in awkward situations or hurt you because I couldnít deal with my own feelings. Time progressed, and every time we hung out I became more infatuated with you. It was weird to feel myself falling for someone, you. Usually I was very careful about my feelings for others, but most of the time it was my simple acceptance that what I wanted with someone else would never work out. But with you it was different. I wanted it so badly, for you to be mine, that simple words or actions replayed over and over in my mind, finding some kind of proof that you felt the same way. This was my mistake; what started off as another one of my fantasies quickly transformed into a yearning to be wanted back, so badly. Time progressed still; weeks, months. I guess underneath all of my selfish wishes I ultimately knew that we would never be together, that you couldnít possibly feel the same way. It was the truth, I hated it. And at this point, nothing else in my life was going right either, things that neither you nor I could control. I think it was this depression that forced me to cling to you even stronger; the worst thing for me, but the only thing I had left. Life went on, I clung to a hope I knew was false, until finally there came a time when everything seemed to end; the completion of the circle. In the beginning I prayed for your love. Then I wished of nothing more than to not love you anymore. Now it appeared that this was finally happening, I had traded in all my pain and misguided hope for an empty numbness, a fair trade. ----, I loved you, it was the most amazing and traumatizing feeling Iíve ever experienced. And now that Iím slowly getting over you, I have a few fears. At first I only feared the end, mainly that I would stop loving you and have to endure the memories of this story alone. These words will help douse this fear, but only once the names are filled and the message finally sent. Now I have a greater fear, one of the future. I shudder to think that loving you you took everything I had to give, and that I wonít be able to love anyone else ever again. I fear being alone, although thatís all Iíve ever really been, isnít it?
ó -------
P.S. Happy Birthday.
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Re: Letter to You

Post by Hazel on Thu Mar 25, 2010 5:15 am

Aw that's so sad, and very moving. Is this part of a story, or just something you made up just for fun?

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Re: Letter to You

Post by mbishop923 on Thu Mar 25, 2010 5:17 am

Hazel wrote:Aw that's so sad, and very moving. Is this part of a story, or just something you made up just for fun?

well this is actually real, just figured id get more responses in the fiction section, sorry.

and i mostly wrote it to get my feelings out, idk if ill ever actually send it
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Re: Letter to You

Post by Hazel on Thu Mar 25, 2010 5:38 am

Oh I understand. I wish my feelings could come out so artistic sounding Razz
Well it was very good nonetheless.

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Re: Letter to You

Post by WritingInsomniac on Wed Jun 30, 2010 2:50 pm

nice! really filled with emotion, really pretty. it'd be an awesome prologue to write the story of it afterwards if you feel it isn't too personal. just a suggestion. regardless i really enjoyed reading it!
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