Jokes!

Those are really funny especially the one about the tent.

Ok so I know a ton of blonde jokes....is anybody seriously offended by those? I don't want to put them on if they are offensive so i'll but a couple others on for now.

A man walked in to a soda shop and asked the waiter. "How much is a soda?"
The waiter replys. "Two dollars."
The man asks. "How much is a refill?"
When the waiter replys, "oh refills are free," the man says, "Sounds good I'll have a refill."

Yea i know not very good. But here's another

An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head.
"Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper."
"What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."

And that's all i have for now!

Ok so I heard this from my friend and thought it was funny! So I hope you like it

A man on Holiday was hunting in the woods near a small farm
The man was about to give up when he saw a duck flying over head
The man shot the duck and it immidiatly fell to the ground
The duck fell over the farms fence, so the man decided to go over and get it
Then as he was half way up the fence when a farmer came on his tractor ,
"Can I help you" the farmer asked
"No, I'm just trying to get my bird" replied the man
"Well its not your bird anymore, its on my property. So its mine"
"But I shot the bird down"
"Well then we can settle it the way we do around here" said the farmer climing off his tractor "Now each one of us gets to hit each other where ever we want. The first one to give up loses."
"Sounds fair" said the man nervously
"Good, now since your on my property I'll go first"
"Alright" replied the man getting ready for the hit.
The farmer hit the man one time in the groin sending the man to the ground.
The man struggled to get up, but he finely did "Alright its my trun now, get ready"
"No I'm good, you can have the bird"
****
So its not that great but I liked it when I heard it so whatever =]

*snicker* Funny. Look at this one:

A couple of young boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the Game Warden jumped out of the bushes.

Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell.

The Game Warden was hot on his heels. After about a half mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath, so the Game Warden finally caught up to him.

"Let's see yer fishin' license, Boy!" the Warden gasped.

With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license.

"Well, son," said the Game Warden. "You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!"

"Yes, sir," replied the young guy. "But my friend back there, well, he don't have one."

I have a few.

A guy got onto the internet and it said, "You've got mail!" So the guy walkes out to his mailbox.

Really dumb, but okay.

These two kids are playing horseshoes. One throws a horseshoe and says, "Explain to me why horseshoes are considered lucky?" The other kid said, " Well, that could have been your parents' car window you just..."

Another one.

A mom bought a can of alphebet soap and made it. Her son said, " A... B...C...D...E...F...G...H...I...J... HEY! There's no "K"! Mom, I hope you still have th recipt!" She replied, "I'm not returning another can!"

And this one.

A kid went into his older sister's room and asked, "What are you writing?" She replied, "A poem for english class." He then said, "Haiku?" She answered, "Seemed faster."

And yet again...

A teenage girl takes out a pair of sizzers and cut out of her calender the last week of school. She goes and reads a magazine. Her mom then comes in and the girl says, "Finals week? What finals week?" Her mom stated, "Cute. Now get cracking!"

Well, I've had enough jokes to type. Maybe more soon.

(Oh, bye the way, you can't give me credit at all. They were all from a comic strip called Foxtrot. I just feel like typing this and to making people laugh.)

Joe went on a hiking trip and was kidnapped by evil fairies. They said, you must say one thing, and if its true, we will boil you in Water. If its false, we will boil you in oil.

What should Joe say?

Spoiler:

He should say, 'you will boil me in oil. They would be at a conundrum; if they did, it would make it true and they would have to boil him in water. But if they boiled him in water they would have had to boil him in oil. It goes in a circle

not really a joke. But i still like it.




This guy goes into a doctor's office. The doctor says, "Oh, Mr. Jones! We have the results of your test. Do you want the bad news first or the very bad news?" The guy shrugs and says, "Well I guess I'll have the bad news first." "Well the bad news is, you have 24 hours to live," the doctor replies. The man is distraught, "24 hours to live? That's horrible! What could be worse than that? What's the VERY bad news?" The doctor folds his hands and sighs, "The very bad news is...I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."

I just made up this a few days ago. (Don't ask me why, I just did.)

What type of meat fo Barbies eat? (Hey... that rhymes! Coolio!)

Spoiler:

Barbiecue!

Wow.
Most of these made me laugh. :3